• Ying-Ni Huang

Regroup with self-compassion

It is easy to fall prey of self-criticism. It might seeps into your heart silently and unconsciously. The next thing you know is like a train of negative feelings. You feel stuck in the passing of time. You might want to get back to your plan or routine but you can’t. The bad feelings about yourself become senses in your body, the tightness in the chest or a sink of weight, etc. You try to talk to yourself out of it, “you’re alright. you’re not so bad.” But it doesn’t work. You sink further. It feels like the hope for good things coming becomes dimer and dimer, like lights out.


But, aha! There might be this moment of wonder. You look around feeling where you are. You say to yourself, “yes, it’s not going well. you might mess up at some point. But it is what it is. I can go from here, the chaos, the unexpected.” You breathe and you move again. It’s like when you acknowledge where you are, you accept the current state. This mistake, this disappointment is cared for once again like a dear little baby hugged by a loving mother. From there, you can continue the rhythm of life instead of stuck on the point of self-loath and despair.



Next time when you see the chaotic kitchen with dishes and utensils scattered around and you start getting irritated, take a deep breath and appreciate how they are functioning at that moment. It’s ok to be chaotic temporarily and you can be with that state of disorganization. Hey! That displacement won’t go further on its own and you can always clean it afterwards.

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